Today's Talking Points
-
1England have a German manager for the first time ever — Thomas Tuchel — which is either a bold move or the punchline to a very long joke depending on your age. He did win the Champions League with Chelsea, which is more than any England manager has done, so perhaps don't mention the nationality.
-
2Harry Kane is England's all-time top scorer and has never won a single trophy in his career. Not one. Cup finals, tournament semis — always the bridesmaid. He's 31 now. This is probably his best shot. Try to look like you knew that already.
-
3Nine players in this squad have never been to a World Cup before. Tuchel clearly isn't interested in sentimentality, which fans either find exciting or terrifying depending on what the first match looks like.
-
4England open against Croatia on June 17 — the exact team they beat to reach the 2018 final, who then beat them in the Euros semi-final. It's become England's recurring nightmare fixture. Mention this and watch a proper fan wince slightly.
-
5The media will spend the whole tournament asking if England are going to 'bring it home.' Nobody agrees what home means in this context. It's been 60 years. If it comes up, nod slowly and look thoughtful rather than answering.
🍺 Top Thing To Say Down The Pub
Tuchel's the first German to manage England, which is either very brave or the funniest thing to happen to football in years depending on who you're talking to.
🚫 Avoid Saying
"Are they going to bring it home?" — everyone says this, it stopped being funny in 2021, and any actual fan will immediately clock you as someone who only shows up for tournaments.